Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Today was the anniversary of my father-in-law's passing. Tim was a laconic man who always laughed at my jokes and was kind and supportive of our relationship. Ruth was afraid of her father when she was younger and, later craved a closer relationship with him. In the last years of his life, his health deteriorated and that had a dramatic impact on many members of the family, if not MOST of the family. Our desire to be close to Tim and Alice was the primary motivator for our move from Cleveland, Ohio to Loma Linda, California.

We were able to spend the last year of his life close to Alice, Tim, and George and help out in whatever way we could. We relished the opportunity to be there with them and provide a distraction from the everyday routine and the troubles of age and infirmity. I hope we did a good job in that role.

Tim was always strong and independent over the 23 years that I knew him. As his body failed, Ruth and I could feel the frustration as he struggled to communicate and move. I cannot imagine what that was like for him. When he made the decision to stop his dialysis treatments on Christmas Day, 2014 we were saddened but understood exactly why he made that choice. In his circumstances I like to think I would have the courage to make the same decision.

We drove up through the night/morning of January 30/31st to drop Ruth off in Napa, where Alice and Tim had moved to an assisted living facility. I am so glad that we were able to make that journey and Ruth had the opportunity to be there in Tim's last days and provide support for Alice and her sisters. We miss you Tim.